A Stevie Riks Christmas

Have yourself a Stevie Riks Christmas
You can make my day
When you buy from my website
And not Ebay UK

Have yourself a Stevie Riks Christmas
The best to you from me
My only wish for the people on Earth
Is they buy copies of my DVD’s

My fans found me on the internet
I was set, for life
Everyone thinks I’m funny and great
But there’s debate, from my kids and wife

What I do is for my own enjoyment
I hope it brings laughs and not tears
Who knew that when I grew up this would be my career
So have yourself a Stevie Riks Christmas now

An Ode To Gate Crashers

I have an invitation to a White House affair
Printed from my home computer, which I did so with much care
I’m an honest guest and not a gate crasher you see
Just ask my two dear friends, Tareq and Michaele Salahi

To us social-climbing is an ancient art
Passed down to us from others who once played that part
We are aristocrats who must keep firm upper lips
As we hit all the parties for free food and Champagne sips

The key to be a party guest is to never be that seen
Act as if you do belong and don’t stare long at celebrities
If you must engage in talk, make it simple, short and content
And don’t forget before you leave, get your picture taken with The President

I simply abhor these gate crashers I read in the newspaper reports
Give people like me a very bad name, so now I must retort
Lock them up, throw away the key, that’s what they should do I think
But excuse me now I’m off to the Office store, for my invitation printer is out of ink