Butt Ugly Day

7 12 2009

I woke up this morning headed to American Standard land
And when I was done the handle fell off in my hand
As I went to brush my teeth, I found I ran out of toothpaste
Somehow I knew the day was going to be a total waste

When I headed for the kitchen the painting was leaking from the walls
From a hole on top the roof left from a meteor lava ball
My thermostat had a reading of minus 24
And my dog ate something he shouldn’t have and deposited on the floor

This is one Butt Ugly Day
What else could possibly go wrong my way
This is one Butt Ugly Day
Let me crawl back into bed and dream it away

I checked my phone message and my boss left a little tip
He gave me the whole day off, along with a pink slip
My widescreen set was missing and in its place a post it note
A crook wrote that he would have stolen more, but the rest of my stuff is a joke

My wife texted me to say why she took our kids away
She said, ” We love you very much, but this is your Butt Ugly Day
The laptop was turned on with a message that had blinking lights
It read ” If you think this is one Butt Ugly Day, wait until tonight

This is one Butt Ugly Day
What else could possibly go wrong my way
This is one Butt Ugly Day
Let me crawl back into bed and dream it away

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