50 Ways to Lose Your Liver Spots

17 10 2011

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover (Paul Simon)

The problem that I face
Is not uncommon for my age
As we all get older
It becomes the latest rage
As all my grandchildren
Think I’m a connect-the-dot page
There must be 50 ways to lose your liver spots

I’ve search on Google
Bing and all the other sites
But nothing solved my quest
As I saw the morning light
Till I asked my senior friends
Who told me what was right
About the 50 Ways to Lose your Liver Spots

Just roll down your sleeves, Jeeves
Wear a turtleneck shirt, Kurt
A surgical mask, Jack
Just listen it’s true
A large beekeeper’s hat, Pat
Huge sunglass shades, Ray
And they will avert their eyes from you

Wear some loud clothes, Joe
An outdated suit, Newt
Make some rude noise, Floyd
And do this a lot
They’ll all look away, Jay
And won’t even see at all, Paul
That you have any liver spots

It all now makes sense
When you think of Mom and Dad
And how their fashion statement
Made them appear so mad
But they just dressed that way
To hide what they really had
About the 50 Ways to Lose your Liver Spots

So now when I wake in the morning
I’m dressing up to the nines
Taking out all my dated clothes
That have certainly passed their prime
Just so I can fool the world
And hide my aging signs
And the 50 Ways to Lose Your Liver Spots

Just wear polka dots, Scott
Big Butt pocket jeans, Gene
A suit of Seersucker, Tucker
Listen now it’s true
A vest full of holes, Joe
With a year of dried snot, Sherlock
And they will avert their eyes from you

Wear some loud clothes, Joe
An outdated suit, Newt
Make some rude noise, Floyd
And do this a lot
They’ll all look away, Jay
And won’t even see all, Paul
That you have any liver spots

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