IOTA Club and Cafe

1 05 2010

Friday at IOTA
That’s where you can get away
Take the time to get back to your soul

Listen to a local band
As you take off your Ray Bans
Enjoy yourself with a cup of joe

IOTA Club and Cafe, Come inside and relax
Kick up your shoes as we play the blues
We know your gonna love it and you’ll always be back
From poetry to music and open mic
There’s nothing here that you won’t like
IOTA Club and Cafe, we hope to see you today

There’s live music every night
Clarendon will treat you right
Stop on by before you travel on

Time inside is time well spent
So take the time and don’t regret
You’ll never know when the moment will be gone

IOTA Club and Cafe, Come inside and relax
Kick up your shoes as we play the blues
We know your gonna love it and you’ll always be back
From poetry to music and open mic
There’s nothing here that you won’t like
IOTA Club and Cafe, we hope to see you today





Amish iPod Deathlord

5 04 2010

There’s a story to be told and making all the folk’s here shakers
They say it started in the south and brought up here by the Quakers
Something small and deadly with just a simple wheel
Have made all the Elders worried, while the young ones just squeal

A form of living is trying to thrust upon and master
The simple quiet land that’s found up in Lancaster
Somewhere near the buggies roam, the ones pulled by a horse
And a little south of the spot where lays the town of Intercourse

On a cool bright morning, as the wet clothes are set out to dry
Came a noise so loud it shook the roofs of the Amish countryside
Known by many names, Technology being one, it struck its frightening cord
This individual Portable Obnoxious Device, had become the Amish iPod Deathlord

For many times in the past, these hollow grounds have been blessed
But I’m afraid this time, they will be taken to the test
So long they have succeeded to separate the present from their past
To live in a time and place where one day it may not last

With every line they see on the telephone poles
Makes them realize what they already know
To keep their life simple has got so complex
To them passing notes is their version of a text

But this Amish iPod Deathlord is a devious kind
With its sleek shiny surface and gigabyte mind
So simple to use and so easy to hide
It’s hard to keep track who has one this time

A nightly check is done in each room
To make sure all the young ones have not been iTuned
And not listen to this personal device so unreal
As they plow and do chores way out in the fields

Rooms have been searched, pockets turned inside out
So there is nothing left for any chance or doubt
Every night the ear lobes are inspected enough
For any ear bud music waxy build up

Every Sunday a lecture is made to the young
About the evils of music and the words that are sung
Hymns and prayers is the only music that should be in their lives
Not like the free downloads that you can get online

But one day what they feared had finally arrived
A sight in the field made all the Elders cry
There was a young boy who went to tend a field’s needs
Not only plowing but dancing to the Black Eyed Peas

A black cloud soon drifted over this old-fashioned sect
Just like the carbon monoxide smell down at the Outlets
More than what they bargained for, they soon realized
You don’t have to give in when you can still compromise

So the Elders called a meeting to exchange ideas and words
And come up with a plan for the best of both worlds
Something in the middle can be reached and resolved
Where the Amish way of life can religiously live on

They agreed on a plan and reached an accord
On how to defeat this Amish iPod Deathlord
A meeting was held with the leaders on high
And they had agreed to give it a try

On the next Sunday the decree was announced
And all the young ones ears and hearts, they all pounced
To help with their chores and their days in the field
An Amish iPod was soon to be revealed

And that Monday morning, the Amish iPod was played loud
Throughout all the fields, in the earshot of the cows
The children all danced as they got their chores done.
The Deathlord had vanished, the Amish have won

But you may ask yourself, how can this be so
An iPod’s an iPod, to hell they will go
Technology has won, the Amish are now stained
They no longer have control over their personal domain

Yet if you all notice, in the fields of corn stock ears
Not one single child have wires hanging from his ears
They are accompanied with two others walking close and tight
One on the left and then one on the right

And if you listen closely you’ll hear them singing in tune
Their version of a downloaded Amish iTune
As the middle one works, the other two are speaker rods
And there you have it, the Amish iPod

So what can be learned from this whimsical tale
In this world full of technology
There is always an answer for everything
If you think it out logically





Memories of My Sharona

24 02 2010

Our distant past came looking for you and me
In the morning paper for the world to see
Between the front page, the sports and the style
Memories of My Sharona brought back some forgotten smiles

Back when the world was not so complex
We all listened to WAVA and WRQX
A recent death took my memory back
To the year 1979, when I saw The Knack

Lining up for tickets at the Peaches Record Store
At $6.50 a pop, we couldn’t afford it if it was anymore
We parked in the lot and waited for the sun to rise
As we dreamed about October 9th and waited for it to arrive

The concert came and we were 15 rows from the stage
Some FOOLS played first and we started to show our rage
As they did their set we were on needles and pins
Because they kept playing one song called the Psycho Chicken

The lights came up and we went to buy our Knick Knacks
But when dimmed once again, we raced to our seats to get back
The curtain raised up and the moment had come
To reveal an image straight from the back of their album

They struck the first chord and we sprang to our feet
But the security guards ordered us back to our seats
The leader of the band said, ” Give them a chance.
If the kids want to dance, let them dance.”

That was 30 years ago, but seems like yesterday
Now my friends and I are married and gone our separate ways
Yet on February 14th of this year, my youth again came back
So I thank you Doug Fieger for Memories of My Sharona and The Knack





We Made A Bale

15 02 2010

There comes a time
When the baler is too full
And you can’t get any cardboard in
We must make a choice
And push that red button
Answer that whining bailing sound

We can’t walk away
And let someone else do the job
It’s up to each of us to lend a helping hand
If we do our part
And finish what we start
We’ll make the receiving world a better land

We made a bale
A bale of cardboard
Wrapped in four silver metal straps
And dropped on a pallet
Then we scooped it up
With a power jack
Then sent it to be recycled
For you and me

We send it to a place
Where they turn it into new paper
And somewhere in the rain forest world
There’s a little tree
Who is a lot safer
And now can grow like you and me

We made a bale
A bale of cardboard
Wrapped in four silver metal straps
And dropped on a pallet
Then we scooped it up
With a power jack
Then sent it to be recycled
For you and me

So when the baler’s full
Don’t walk away and hide
The five minutes that you take
Can save the world outside
Let’s all heed the call
We can’t let civilization fail
We must join together and make a bale

We made a bale
A bale of cardboard
Wrapped in four silver metal straps
And dropped on a pallet
Then we scooped it up
With a power jack
Then sent it to be recycled
For you and me





Hit Show Theme Song

26 01 2010

Here’s how to write a hit show theme song
Use the same chord and one simple line
If you make it short and not too long
They can run more commercial time

Hope they put the show between two winners
So that the ratings don’t take a dive
Take Your Mother and 2 and 1/2 Men out to dinner
To thank them for keeping you alive

Once the show finds their own audience
The weekly checks will begin to grow
And if it goes to syndication
You can move from your Parent’s basement abode

If your lucky the show will run a few years
And turn your life to good from worst
Retire to the beach and soak in the beers
From the money you got accidentally on purpose





2UIM ( The Prince Song )

25 01 2010

2UIM, It’s U that I C
2UIM, There can never B
R U his or R U mine
2UIM, U R my time

The words I use 4 U R true
I M in love with only U
2UIM and will ever B
I am U and U R me

2UIM, It’s U that I C
2UIM, There can never B
R U his or R U mine
2UIM, U make me rhyme

I will B your 1 little prince
I M in love with U ever since
U and I , R eyes were 2 C
B cause I C U love me

2UIM, It’s U that I C
2UIM, There can never B
R U his or R U mine
2UIM, U make me rhyme

B 4 I go, I want U 2 C
U B in my heart 2 B
Where 1 is 2, 4 ever more
I have 2 B leave I love U





A Nilsson Point of View

22 01 2010

I saw her in a restaurant
In a little town that’s South of France
A place where people go when life is strange

She didn’t see me, I don’t know why
But when she entered she caught my eye
Something told me things would suddenly change

The crowd was in their little world
And didn’t see this beautiful girl
Not a parting glance or single word was said

She sat alone in the corner booth
The light was low where she hid the truth
As she asked for a bottle of wine and a loaf of bread

With jet black hair and eyes of blue
The kind that you can see right through
And skin as warm as a summer day

From her purse she pulled a cigarette
When she struck the match, our eyes had met
She spoke to me by motioning my way

Slowly she raised your glass to me
As if to say it’s nice to be
Noticed from afar in such a place

I walked across the crowed floor
Expected less, instead of more
As I sat I noticed the tears upon her face

Up close she looked like a forgotten child
Trapped inside an adult without a smile
Where the loneliness is your only friend

Reaching out my hand touched hers
And I felt inside that her loves still burns
She was at a crossroads and not the end

As I looked deeply in her eyes
To ask her just a simple why
She put her finger gently on my lips

She didn’t speak, there was no need to
Our eyes spoke the language of the truth
As she poured a glass of wine for me to sip

The music box had filled the air
And Frank Sinatra was everywhere
Singing to all the lovers in the night

The dance floor sat there all alone
Made of store bought cobblestone
Asking for someone to share the light

She took my hand and led me soon
To the center of the small dark room
And there we shared a dance from long ago

As we danced into a warm embrace
In my shoulder she hid her face
And in that moment the world had nowhere to go

We were swept into the melody
That helps us escape the reality
Of where we are and where we’d like to be

It was like a movie from the yesterday
Where words unsaid had more to say
Until the music made them all to see

A simple line from a little tune
Can brighten up a darkened room
It’s funny how music can save a single soul

It takes you to another time
Where you are you and I me mine
And somehow fills the voids that we all know

Just when you thought you have reached that place
The music stops and you must face
The magic is still there if you believe

When the song was gone she looked at me
And what was there I could finally see
As she turned away and started to leave

There was a life she belonged in
And what she needed was a 3 minute friend
She thanked me from the warmness of her eyes

The lights had raised to warn the few
The last call was looking for me and you
Reminding us there is a reason why

She grabbed her coat and walked to the door
Looking back she nodded once more
As if to say I thank for your time

Into the night she disappeared
As the closing door brought in the cold air
She would be forever on my mind

And this is just a Nilsson point of view
If this should ever happen to you
Don’t be afraid and give life one more chance

So if your looking for some truth
I know this cozy, corner booth
In a little restaurant in the South of France